I am surprised at how the election went. Pleasantly on one hand and disappointed in the end.

For instance - How could a state like California elect MR. Obama to the executive office by support a ban on Gay Marriage? Now understand - I am against any kind of law that defines marriage, or couples - which is why I voted against the one on the ballot here. I don't think we should legislate that. I think if people want to married then they should be. So I ahve to wonder, did Californians flip a coin when they voted? See it was multiple choice and just randomly check answers? It can be of course, and so the improbability of it happening has me baffled. How can someone like me - a conservative, a republican and a father - vote against a law that would eventually pave the road for such a ban and vote for Obama - while people who are professed liberal champions shatter the hopes of serious couples all over the state of California?

I do hope that Mr. Obama is a man of action and not just words - the jury is out thus far. He got my vote on a very thin margin of issues, and his tax plan looks as though it's going to end up putting my family further in debt. I am looking forward to seeing some of his campaign promises and how they pan out.

That little sticker, so similar to the one I get every time I donate blood, seems to convey so much to me.

Perhaps, much like my blood donor sticker, it should say "Be nice to me - I donated brain cells to the electoral process today". But hey, that would be far too long for a sticker. Maybe, "I voted today - May God Have Mercy on My Soul." (Okay, I jest )

So I stood in line for an hour and a half because they assured me that lines would be shorter than on election day - well maybe they were. I haven't voted in a precinct this large in a long time.

Honestly, this has been the most difficult election for me. While everyone else I know has been running around saying "Oh, vote for my candidate - He's the besty best and least evilly of them all", I've been checking what the candidates say against the facts and becoming increasingly frightened that while these people obviously love America, they may not be able to run it.

I stood in the line and stared at the voting guide still trying to decide which candidates were worth my vote. In the end my votes went very split - an even split between Democrats and Republicans with 2 votes for independents.

And the home work leading up to this election was phenomenal. Constantly checking in with unaffiliated research and fact finding sites to find out which candidate was telling which lie this week - or which one was spinning the truth for advantage. In the end their were an equal number of serious and misleading lies by both major candidates.

And that was the part that kept me staring at the computer kiosk for 45 minutes. I had finished every other issue on the ballot. Congressmen, judges, city council, tax increase votes - all of it in 15 minutes. Then my eyes glazed over as I stared at the 16 pairs of hopefuls for the Countries executive office. I had a notebook full of notes on each pair and I flipped from page to page as I considered and weighed my options. I was still undecided - and four of the candidate pairs weren't even in my notebook, because somehow in all my fiddling and checking I hadn't uncovered their existence.

So it came down to a few issues for me - a very small few. But finally I cast my vote for President and Vice. And oddly in spite of it all I feel relieved that I voted. A part of me hopes I voted for the man most likely to lead us back to a semblance of sanity and security - but only four years will tell us anything significant.

And yes I would like to encourage you all to vote to - and vote early if you can. Last election something like 70 million voters failed to cast a ballot. I look on it as my duty as a citizen, but even more - if we want our voices heard beyond the daily internet complaint session - then voting is a step in the right direction.

For those who watch in sadness at the freedoms we have sacrificed each year since far far earlier administrations - I found this an interesting read.

http://aclu.org/privacy/spying/areyoulivinginaconstitutionfreezone.html

So October the 15th was C-doll and W-girl's fourth Birthday. They had a blast, and even got the joy of two birthday parties. One on the 15th for just us, and one on the 18th when their grandma and Grandpa came to see them.

They had a blast. They loved their gifts, which included some really fun holloween costumes they can also use as play clothes, and a hobby horse so that W can play "Jedi Princess Hero" - which seems to be one of her favorite games lately. They got art kits as well, most of which have been used up.

I'm not going to go on about what a wonderful parent I am. In fact with each passing year I am amazed at the struggle to decide what decision is best, and how many times we make mistakes. However, I am so glad to have my girls - I can't wait until we have enough money to adopt the younger two. In today's America money is tight, but this is my family.

And not a day goes by that I don't think - "Oh God, let me somehow be worthy of this wonderful gift."
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On November First we are having an after Halloween party. We're going to wear costumes, have snacks I shouldn't eat, and play D20 modern zombie/supernatural campaign. I feel sort of blah about the whole thing - in fact, I feel blah about everything. However I know the family enjoys the company, and eventually I won't feel blah anymore.
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So I've just finished watching season 1 of Dexter, Gilmore Girls, Buffy, Heroes and Rome.
I've watched most of season 2 of Rome as well.

I really liked Rome, in spite of the inaccuracy I found it drew me in and even irritated the heck out of me.

Heroes was okay - I'm not sure it deserves all the hype, but it was still alright.

as for the others, I'm glad they are out there for people to watch - though they didn't do anything for me, going so far as to deepen my 'blahs', I can see why they might draw in others.

The last show I watched was "Generation Kill". I think I liked it, though I find myself wondering how accurate it is. I also find myself wanting to read the book, and to find the other book which came out of that recon unit.
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If only I had adequate time for reading. For example, I've been slowly trying to work my way through the Aubrey-Maturin series for quite some time now, but with many distractions - including the need to look up things on the internet - it's been slow going. Sometimes I put my book down for months before continuing with it.

Really this is nothing new. As the years pass I feel less and less intelligent than I did before. Soon I shall be the least intelligent man alive.
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I quit writing for the time being. I'm proud of my characters, and how much more human and real they seem than some of the other characters I've run into. In fact, I feel quite protective of the characters I've worked hard to create, and perhaps a bit possessive of them. I suppose that's okay, because technically they are my intellectual property.

But the fact is that I can't string together two fictional sentences worth reading at the moment, and I may never be able to again if things continue on as they have. So I have retired from that world knowing full well that I may never be able to return.
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Wow, an awful lot of political and pointed posts recently. I've been a little surprised by some of the intolerance and such, but that is the joy of election years. Mostly I am surprised when intelligent and articulate individuals I know suddenly become raging, unreasoning hate machines.

( political-rant-enclosed )

because cowboy_r did it. May or may not be accurate. I personally have always felt that humans were less than accurate when it comes to knowing what their own traits are. But what the hell do I know anyway?

( Baaaa-Baaa-Blacksheep )

I canceled my GameFly subscription recently. I did so for two reasons. The first was that I was paying the 30 whatever a month and I wasn't playing any of the games. The second is related to the first in that I don't have the time I want to play the rented games - otherwise I might still have the subscription. But If I save that money I can buy a new game every couple months or so, and play it at my leisure.

Now I mention this because today I sat down at my game machine of evil and downloaded the demo for The Force Unleashed. In fact. Starting tonight I have played that short demo 18 times. Why? Because I like watching myself cut that AT-ST in half. Oh, and destroying the Tie Fighters with a Thrown object rocks as well. Over and Over again. This will undoubtedly be one of the games I buy. Not surprising since of all the SW games released I have only failed to purchase perhaps four.
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so of all the conversations I've had this month, the most interesting one happened a few days after my birthday.

It was something along the lines of:

Them "So what are we going to do with you now?"

"Do With me?"

Them "Yeah, or for you or whatever?"

"I'm not following."

Them: "Well, do you want to go back to school maybe? Finish your History degree, or your journalism, or your teaching?"

"Maybe. Yes. No. It's a little soon for that right now."

Them: "Well, we just need to know what you are thinking so we can make plans."

"Hmm. That's nice. I don't really have an answer for you today though. Try next week."

Because no. I haven't a clue at the moment . . .

Maybe not,

haven't posted in a good long while. Mainly because I hate to drone on about how horrible things are - or are not really. Plus I haven't even had the time to post to sims, so really, posting here didn't seem nearly as important either.

So last Saturday we had the big birthday bash early. Afterwards we started up Knights of The Old Republic: Seeds of Destruction. All in all the beginning was just a reboot of the events that took place in the KoTOR video game series. So far the game has been fun for everyone - surprising since quite a few people were unhappy about the idea of playing a new rule set - though the rules for DnD and Saga Edition Star Wars aren't different enough to give that many headaches. So the end of the night made was mostly positive, save one silly disagreement concenring who could and could not make use of "Force Powers" sigh.

On the other hand. I've been lucky enough to play a little 4th edition DnD now and again, including my playtesting time - which was sadly cut short due to the importance of real life. I have to say that I personally have been having more fun playing it than I have had with any 3.5 game (save Stargate and Starwars - which really don't count as DnD). But that's my personal experience - and obviously some people aren't enjoying it.

In real life, we've began the steps that will eventually lead us to adopting the girls. Right now the expense is less than we first imagined, but still more than we really have, which is making thing less easy than they could be. However, I would imagine that by this time next year everything will be in order.

That's pretty much all I have the energy to write tonight - hope you are all well.

Many of us have icons of our youth,

For me, one such icon Was E. Gary Gygax, the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons. That game along with my voracious love of reading and fantasy/Sci-fi shaped my teen and adult years and still remains one of the things I do for entertainment.

Thus it was with some sorrow that I learned of his passing today.

I had the opportunity to meet Gary at a convention I attended once, and he was an interesting imaginative man.

I for one will miss one of the fathers of my dying yet favorite hobby.

that is all.

Okay;

Most of you know I gave up my TV addiction for the Internet. The Internet has the distinct advantage that no matter where I go, there they are - still. I don't gain any friends or social ability from watching Television, in fact, it's been my observation that too much television reduces social acumen.


The interesting thing for me is that I just found a reason to watch television again. This news is nearly as exciting to me as the New BSG was. So on Mondays - if I'm not posting or I'm not on IRC, it's because I'm watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Well, I have been given command of USS Victory now. We've only been up for two days now, so our manifest is short, but I have tentative commitments from a few players.

I can always use more prolific writers though, so If you happen to be looking for a simm set in the Star Trek universe, and have the time to write a character - then we would love to have you aboard.

So it's the new year already, and I'm that much nearer to 40. I find myself wondering where the last 39 went to. This is generally a time I take to pause and reflect, and sometimes I wince at the things back there way down the time-line.

I've been at home now, without a job, for three years now. I do believe that I may have mentioned before that I am working harder than I ever did with a real job. However, I also find myself with free time for things like Cruenti Dei , Galileo , USS Archimedes , USS Navajo , Khemar and my own pet projects: Meta World , Anarkien , and my future vessel to be named later .

I have 11 Sims right now, and an invitation to join a twelfth. I intend to drop all of my Sims except for the ones listed above. I've been writing consistently for each of those - and dropping the other near dead ones will allow me the chance to command a ship if it comes to that. The new Sim is, unfortunately, a place that would have taken my Marine without prejudice - something hard to find as many Trek fans aren't in touch with all that Trek entails.

I suspect that 2008 will look much the same way as 2000 - 2007 with the exception that my circle has reduced once more and I call fewer people 'friend' overall. Though I must say that a large portion of that group are new and wonderful people.

---

I'm running a posting contest on USS Navajo, and two of the potential prizes arrived today. I must say they are every bit as awesome as I imagined they might be.

can't wait to see who emerges victorious, as the competition is very close at the moment. I know we have at least 7 more posts waiting in the queue to hit the forums, so after we finish our boarding exercise there will be a stream of MD 4 posts hitting the deck. I can't wait for the fallout, and the calculating of posting points.

---

So I bought myself some Star wars stuff with some of my Christmas money. I'm a little psyched about the living rebellion campaign that starts on the 12th. It will only be once a month, which means it isn't going to interfere with my writing. It occurs to me though, that the only reason to have all these spare miniatures and books is so that I can run my own shared game again - but the characters I really want to play with are gone now, and I find it unlikely that Kivan, for one, will ever return.

I could, I suppose run that clone uprising campaign I've been considering for years - spanning the time of the first clone rebellion and the stormtrooper rebellion - but I'd have to make it a rebooted campaign against those who know that part of the time line.

Terry Pratchett has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease. I enjoyed Discworld and though Terry isn't my favorite Author - I note that a good number of Authors I like are experiencing the effects of aging. To Terry I can only send wishes that he finish the projects he is currently working on, before he is unable - and that he look back on his life with a sense of accomplishment.

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In general, the stories I write in do not tend to swirl past me or my character. I have heard that complaint from others, generally less active than I, and wondered what I could do to assist them in catching up. I suddenly find myself in the same position on a few of the writing projects I participate in. It is always the risk of writing with multiple people that they will eventually write past what you are trying to do in character.

Sort of had that issue on Serendipity, but only to a minor extent. Since in my current simms I've purposely made characters who are not quite as adept or super heroic as the rest of the characters being run, I should have expected this outcome. I did not - must be the medicine.

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I received money for Christmas, with which I purchased several deckplans I had on hold, a Star Wars RPG book, a GURPS book, the Orange Box, and some minor trinkets. I also bought into a game called Crueti Dei that swallowed the last fo my Christmas money. If I fare twice as well as I did in Tribal Wars - a game I only recently abandoned to concentrate on simming - I should have my ass handed to me on a regular basis.

I think I will consider going to a movie by myself later. I don't really like to go alone, but after paying for a babysitter, the price of a night out nears 100 dollars. I've already seen two years of movies and television programs I normally would watch swirl deftly past me, so on the suggestion of my wife I will take it under consideration.

At this point though, if I could think of something new to write about, I'd almost rather do that.

Merry Christmas to all:

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Finally a break from the bustle of Christmas morning. The girls were suitably gifted. My wife complained I spent to much on her (as if - she should know how I shop). My in-laws brought none of their presents with them, and thus watched while the rest of the family was handed presents by Shawnta Clause - or if you prefer Saint Michael.

My own Christmas was uneventful. I received copies of the two best science fiction television shows ever made: Earth 2 and Space: Above and Beyond.

Recently discovered that one of the girls' presents had been forgotten, so during their nap we get to put it together and surprised them when the wake up.

My ham is in the roaster, and I'll be roasting some potatoes for those who can eat them. My part in the day is nearly at an end.

So I hope you all had, at the very least - the love and comfort you needed to feel on this and every other day.

If not, take some from me - I have plenty and more to spare

with love

S. Michael Kelley
Архангел в обучении
Shawn - добрый подарок Бога
Майкл - Он, кто походит к Богу
Kelley - Воин

Ah the Joy of the Yule season . . .

My family now has presents for the tree, and nearly everyone I wanted to gift has something. I have have several brand new sets of deck-plans waiting to go be chosen by my posting contest winner. The remainder will be divided between me and some friends.

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This has been a craptastic week for writing - well two weeks really. I'd like to blame it on my COALs and the joyful experience of building a website, but that would be a lie. If anything, the COALs have been an inspiration to write more and better - not becuase they are well written and inspiring lessons, but precisely because they are the opposite.

One simm I play in hasn't had a post for weeks - I refuse to believe it's completely dead, as the world is just too unique and interesting to part with, but I usually feed off of other people's writing for the energy I need to write a good story. Robert of Arthwick will have to stay in his shoebox, wrapped in tissue paper and awaiting such a time as I can find more inspiration for his brother and him.

In two other simms my primary character has been relegated to the roll of plot device - something I am normally quite tolerant of, however, lately it's been making me want to write anyone but those characters

another simm has me stuck with a very interesting plot device, but no one else seems to be into it, and I must admit I am losing my motivation. It's probably tied for favorite among my current characters, and I enjoy writing him in spite of the negative input I get concerning the character. However, If I wanted to write by myself I'd pay the 2500 dollars to have my hard drive recovered so I can finish my books.


The Christmas season is approaching, and I can only imagine it getting worse from here out, at least until the season ends.

-----------------------

I just finished Rainbow Six Las Vegas, and I must say it was a good way to burn off angry energy.

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Honestly I just feel blah and out of touch. I cancelled all of my games this weekend, because for some reason I find myself not even wanting to deal with them. Blargh.

Yesterday was foggy all day, and the air was cool against my hot skin. I love weather in general. All of it. I used to love Typhoon season when I was stationed on Guam, unless it ruined my diving activities. I find myself increasingly missing that part of the world, and wishing to live there again.

Anyway, turned out even the weather couldn't make me feel better. My glasses got broken and then the lens sucked up into the vacuum cleaner. My doctor had just been on me to go in for an eye exam and dental - since diabetes patients need be more careful about such things. Oddly, because of necessity the man got his wish.

Unfortunately that meant dropping near 400 dollars on glasses since our mew insurance doesn't cover hardware. It also meant that the Vacuum motor burned out, which meant another 200 plus dollars today at the evil empire store. With my supplies costing an arm and leg - it means my plans for that money are shot. Meh, needless to say, yesterday I was in no mood to be trifled with.

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It's snowing today - a change in weather from yesterday, and only the second snow of the season. How joyful for me to sit by my wood stove, Third Day playing in my ears, and a plethora of edit windows open for me to write and dream.

There are times these days, when all I want to do it write in front of my self contained inferno - and drink in the comfort of hot cider hot chocolate or a nice mug of tea. I wrap my blanket around my thinking chair so that I can drape it across myself and lean back to close my eyes and think.

Temptation for me is to always feel morose, depressed, or deflated. I suspect it is a combination of both the Leo and the temperamental artist in me.

IN fact, this is often the reason I do not read journals on a daily basis. The moods of others have ever effected me as well - and there is often such angst and despair in journals that it is hard not to come away feeling as though the world is going to Helena hand basket (Montana pun intended).

However, I also become excited over the oddest and seemingly most trivial things - like making a post to an online game that people really like, or getting the wood stacked in my basement against a winter that shows little sign of attendance (okay, we got one little snow, but com on, I'm a Montana boy).

I have to admit, however, that this week has been an exciting one for many reasons. Two of the online games I play in have been moving along at a steady and continuous pace - and they have been fairly interesting.

Darksword miniatures is beginning a series of miniatures sculpted by Tom Meier of Thunderbolt Mountain Miniatures. Admittedly miniatures come out every day, however, this is only the third book series which I've been deeply devoted too which has received it's on miniatures lines. The First was Lord of the Rings, the second was Hammer's Slammers, and the most recent is Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin.

Okay, so I've saved the most exciting things for last. My two oldest girls started preschool this week. It was stressful, but it was also enjoyable to listen to the girls so excited about learning from someone new. The are attending school at the deaf and blind school as part of a "Typical developing peers" program.

I stayed the whole first day, which meant the wookie stayed with me. One of the teachers asked what my major was in college and when I told her my double major/ double minor she exclaimed that she thought I ought to switch to early childhood development.

Fat chance of that, but it was nice to hear some praise anyway, and the girls had so much fun that they cried when they had to come home because school was over.

As a disclaimer, I am not a liberal, nor a conservative, nor really a moderate.

On the issue of terrorism and those who would harm my children I am completely for hunting them down before they can harm me and mine, in fact, were I in better physical shape I'd be doing it right now. It may yet happen.

However, there are some steps we have taken since 9/11 that have bothered me from a perspective of both freedom and Justice.

This http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20999950/ , I think, is a very small victory for both.

Today was lawn mowing day. Which is to say it is the day I usually mow the front half of the lawn. Unfortunately the blasted device ran out of gas 3/4 of the way through the front lawn, and now when my wife gets home I get to find Gas for the mower.

There is a certain satisfaction I get from doing these tasks, because tis my home.

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I found out today that I have diabetes. It is actually sort of a relief. I had been banking on cancer, a rare form of heart disease, or a blood disease I read about recently.

Still, it also sucks. Hard to explain I guess. Just knowing suddenly makes it harder to do simple things like concentrate, or write.

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We got a dog. A beagle. The girls Love him.

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Hmmm, I don't feel as talkative as I thought, so I'll just post a few progress pictures for those interested.

I don't usually get terribly depressed on my big day, but the way this week has been shaping up I think it's highly likely.

I had planned a BBQ for Saturday. No big deal, just burgers, potato salad and brats - maybe some mac salad if I think I really want to cook that much for the day.

I invited people more than a month ago, and have been planning and buying.

Half the people invited were form one of the groups I play with - I mean, they'll already be here.

So over the last few days I've gotten a slew of cancellations. That's right - no one is coming. I must say that I was at least pleased that one person had the balls to say they'd planned a party for someone else so wouldn't be there.

As a lark I invited some people from way out of town. You know, people I know and wish were here. I didn't get everyone I wanted - but there was a point when I was like, what's the point. - - - I expected that they wouldn't be here. I did expect that at least two people who actually live here and use my house might make it.

On top of that my favorite chair blew apart tonight - and then I went to bleach some of the grease off the table and the bleach bottle exploded in my hand.

I'm so mad I could spit - but I guess it's nice that they could give me almost a week notice.

So I went to Tribal Wars - okay so it's kind of boring - I know. Unfortunately my buddy is quitting, so I'm glad the premium account is only 3 bucks. Normally I wouldn't care, of course, but on top of everything else it just seemed sort of depressing.

So I went to Ventrilo to chat - but the only one there wasn't there.

I know, I know - you are thinking, "But you don't have any real problems - so quit your bitching and be glad for another year. But then, whose to say that I talk about 'real' problems here.

Most of the time the idea that someone would rather swallow arsenic than come to my BBQ doesn't bother me, but for some reason this year it does. Not saying that these people would rather swallow arsenic. Who knows.

But right now I can't think straight, and I just need to bitch. I thought that writing about it might help, but it isn't. Hell I give up.

So two days ago my little brother shipped over to Qatar. He'll be taking over as Hospital administrator for a company that flies in soldiers from other places.

Among his responsibilities is flying into Iraq to facilitate the extraction of soldiers which the Armed forces doesn't have the capability to move properly.

Sounds like it will be an interesting job for him. His family is due to fly over whenever he can afford to bring them, but I cringe to think that will only place him more in debt.

He'll be there a minimum of a year, but I suspect that getting out of debt will take him anywhere from 3 to 4 years.
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Unpacking at the house is going slowly. I sort of petered out after rushing to get the game room ready for the first game. I haven't done much since then, and consequently both my garage and office are a shambles. I honestly can't get up the motivation to work on them though.

I should. I'm missing books that I dearly want - and getting a handle on the office might solve that. However, I have other things on my mind and the office just seems a hassle at the moment.
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This summer was supposed to be for trips, but money issues shot that out the window. However, my parents sent me money to attend my dad's 60th, so we did go do that.

On the other hand, there has been much space between visitors this summer. My wife's friends just left after coming down to go to the zoo with our kids. Six girls can be a handful and this was no exception